She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Houston, we have a squirter
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
