I just pynch a tree in the face
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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