if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
