The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
