I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
