I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
