let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
