Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
