its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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