If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
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This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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