oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
