There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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