he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
