This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
