So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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