i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
