Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
