Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
