I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
