im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
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