i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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