Can Purell be used as lube?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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