It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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