the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
