She's JV to your varsity
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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