this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
