There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
