I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize