All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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