dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
