im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize