I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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