May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
