i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
