I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
