I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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