we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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