No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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