The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
