so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
