His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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