Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
