im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
