I'm sorry my penis didn't work
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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