in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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