Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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