I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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