Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
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