Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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