Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
