There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
