Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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