If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
