The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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