you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
