singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
