He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Floor bacon is actually really good
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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