so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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