He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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