so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
